:::::A Pirate at a Bar::::::

A pirate was talking to a “land-lubber” in a bar. The land-lubber
noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a
hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The landlubber
just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He
asked the pirate,
“How did you loose your leg?” The pirate responded,
“I lost my leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!” His new friend
was still curious so he asked,
“What about your hand. Did you loose it at the same time?”
“No,” answered the pirate. “I lost it to the sharks off the Florida
Keys.” Finally, the land-lubber asked,
“I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you loose your eye?” The pirate answered,
“I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in my eye.” The landlubber
asked,
“How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?” The pirate snapped,
“It was the day just after I got my hook!”

.:::The Brain Bank:::. ( Spoof )

It seems there was a woman who received some bad news. Her husband had been in an
automobile accident and was brain dead. The doctor told her some good news, though. They had
perfected their brain transplant technique and that she was lucky there were three fresh brains
in the brain bank from which to choose.
Good, Because I Didn’t. 205
A large explosion had killed a firefighter, a captain and a chief. Having insurance, she requested
the cost for each of the brains. The firefighter’s brain was $10,000, the captain’s brain
was $50,000 and the chief was a MILLION DOLLARS! Curious, she asked why the chief’s brain
was so much more expensive.
The reply.... you see the chief’s brain has never been used!